October 2011
1 post
Made a banner.
for the first time in so long.
July 2011
1 post
its so lovely
how much you really don’t care.
June 2011
9 posts
I have a big problem.
I miss the pain.
I want the pain.
:/
No honesty. No trust.
I’m never as strong as I need to be.&I need to change that.
I need to learn to stick up for myself..
I need to feel more confident about myself and my relationship.
I’m scared of him and what he could do to me.
Something I’m supposed to trust he’d never do, but there’s hardly any trust..
he’s got big plans.& I feel like he wishes they were with...
sometimes
only sometimes…
i NEED pain.
sent home from work.
I’m sitting here because my car won’t start.
after my manager sends me home because she didnt want to listen to what I had to say..
I would really like to quit my job.
I keep thinking about what I want to do with my life.
&how I want to be ready to start a life.
&how I want to be ready to start a life with him.
ithink.
I want to get out of here. I want to leave this...
ihatewhen
my thoughts begin to wander.
my heart begins to doubt.
I never know the truth.
&it eats at me.
especially nights like this.
where I fall asleep &3hrs later he’s still awake…
i wish i could just trust.:/
I think i would be able to sleep better…
I hate feeling
like I’m his only one.
I have no real reason to feel that way.
But things from the past really fuck that up.
I wish I trusted easily.
But things from the past really fuck that up.
&then sometimes he just seems too good to be true.
I worry too much. I wish I could just relax.
I'm telling you..
I’m so scared.
that this isn’t real.:/
I'm excited.
to leave this place with you. But, i feel like my hopes are too high.:/
May 2011
11 posts
caught him.
again today.
i hate the lies.
I wouldn’t be so disappointed everytime if I knew the truth.
this really sucks.
I asked him.
and he layed with me til I fell asleep(:
laying down for a nap.
wishing he would lay with me.
but I’m not going to ask.
:/
watching the office.
I feel like I want to much.
but I wouldn’t if he didn’t put it my head.
-.-*sigh*
we went shopping today.
got some cute clothes. and eliots new thunderbolt.
Victoria secret has a panties sale.7 for $25. mia and I got a few, really cutepair.(:
were staying up all night because I have a night shift tomorrow.:/
but I’m getting pretty sleepy.
we’ve been smokin since I woke up.
I’m pretty high-.-lol.
ironically
we have the same ringtone for eachother.
(:
I think that’s cute.
iloveyou
don’t break my heart.
I never meant to fall this hard, but it truly feels great.
&im not going to end this for anyone. I didn’t for HER. I definitely won’t for YOU. or THEM.
Give me everything tonight.
You’re harder to read than most people.
I hate that about you. I want to know you.
Its almost like you’re scared to let me know the REAL youu.
But i guess thats just an assumption, I guess i wouldn’t really know.
I’d love&accept you no matter what, haven’t you already noticed?
just let me in. i need to find my way back to your heart.
I have a lot i want to...
i dont know
If im strong enough to turn away.
if im strong enough to fight you off.
I want to be done with you&your lies.
But i kindof dont care. I mean i try to forget.
Just so we can be happy.
I wish i had lies of my own.
I wouldnt feel so alone.
MAYBE. I fall a little harder each and every day.
Its easy.
All you need is love.
But im sick of all your lies.
I feel like youre a great person..
Wait, im lying. I’m alive for the first time.
December 2010
1 post
im never sure what to say anymore.
Never ever.
November 2010
1 post
i need someone to talk to.
This is getting way to hard.
I’m not sure what i really want now.
Because i don’t know if this is worth losing him for forever.
But it’s too late. He wont speak to me.
He’s the one who makes my heart go.
I’m not sure what to do right now.
But my heart is really hurting.
I know I”m supposed to spend my life with him.
What happens when your dream...
August 2010
1 post
"I Cant Keep Loving You."
My heart is beating a million times too fast as im writing this.
Maybe because i know this is it. The end. Of us.
I dont want to say this, nor does it feel like the right thing to do.
But im saying goodbye.
It needs to happen and you know that more than i do.
It makes me sick to my stomach to know that i have to live without you.
I really planned on spending my life with you.
Whoever...
April 2010
2 posts
Here's the thing.
It seems to be, that you will never understand.
No one will ever understand.
I know what i feel in my heart.
I know what i want for my life.
& that’s you.
I’m a different person now.
I’ve realized whats important.
Never have i thought that i would kiss you lips again.
feel your touch, your passion.
Only in my dreams.
But this is real, and it’s now....
Honestly.
I don’t know how much longer this is going to work.
What if i would have just let him pack his stuff and leave.
would i be happy right now.
is it my fault im not happy.
Does it have anything to do with him.
How do i fix this.
________________________________________
I know i’m doing something wrong.
I cant seem to get it right.
________________________________________
...
September 2009
1 post
May 2009
1 post
I just want to say
Sorry to all the girls who fell too hard, too fast.
I only have one question for you.
There is so much fear inside my heart.
So much doubt inside my eyes.
Do you breath heavily when she’s around?
Its getting harder and harder to have a best friend.
Its getting harder and harder to be able to trust these people.
Its getting harder and harder to not just get up and leave.
...
March 2009
4 posts
Just Believe.[In Yourself.]
I want to make you think. I want to inspire your thoughts.
I’ll show you the person that I’m looking at.
Your words touch my heart. Your actions make me believe.
I have faith in you. I have faith in your heart.
Your heart has faith in me.
This might be hard to understand.
I know what you’re going through. I know how you feel.
I know i haven’t experienced things...
Runaway!
Forgive me when its over,
but dont think i never tried.
I’m so sorry.
Lets write together.
We could make the world a better place.
In Class.
Bored as fuck.
annoyed with people.
making stupid paper airplans because my teacher is a dumbass.
Theres a lot id like to say.
But im not going to.
Thanks.
February 2009
6 posts
Life sucks
I crashed my car.
:/
Whatever.
im just sick of you.
and the shit you feel is perfectly fine to say about me.
bye.
i want everyone to know
how much i appreciate them.
My Boyfriend.
I Love Him With All My Heart.
“To Hell With You And All Your Friends”
– or should i say my friends.
i want to be done with everyone.
with everything.
Everything felt so perfect an hour ago.
And of course it can never just stay that way.
I wish i didn’t have a social life.
It seems to always fuck everything up. I want to do whats best.
But, what feels best...
January 2009
2 posts
Lover boy, mommas boy.
My life, his life.
It’s something we share.
Love Ruining Of His My Life.?
You don’t even have to say it. I know whats going through your mind.
It’s the same thing that’s going through everyone else’s.
We all do fuck up.
I just want to be done. Just done.
Tell me something i don't know.
its my life.and the way i miss living it. I’ve been there, done it all. I’ve punched lockers, and had my insecurities. I’ve seen and done things some people could only imagine seeing or doing. I’ve expierenced hurt like you probably haven’t expierenced yet. I’ve been in love. Not just once, but twice. I plan on keeping it that way.
December 2008
2 posts
It all happened oh so fast.
It’s new years eve.
I’m not sure if i’m excited or not.
I want to be. I feel like i am.
But i feel like i’m not.
Once the alcohol hits my lips I know it’ll be a year to remember.
A New Year.
New changes I’m not ready for.
Friendships will mean less.
Money will mean more.
Life will get hard.
Love will get harder.
Let’s get ready.
This new...
November 2008
6 posts
No. Maybe. Not Really.
We’re all over at sexy’s.
It’s not too exciting.
I’m bored.
Listening to music. Sing It Loud here i come.
[:
“I would give all i have, Just to be what you need until the end.”
I wish i could sing. Just so i could do something...
Breathe Their Control,
Fuck Their Control.