Take This To Heart.

Made a banner.

for the first time in so long.

its so lovely

how much you really don’t care.

I have a big problem.

I miss the pain.
I want the pain.
:/

No honesty. No trust.

I’m never as strong as I need to be.&I need to change that.

I need to learn to stick up for myself..
I need to feel more confident about myself and my relationship.

I’m scared of him and what he could do to me.
Something I’m supposed to trust he’d never do, but there’s hardly any trust..
he’s got big plans.& I feel like he wishes they were with someone else.
Even though I’m still standing here wishing that its me.

I need to learn to stick up for myself.

sometimes

only sometimes…
i NEED pain.

sent home from work.

I’m sitting here because my car won’t start.
after my manager sends me home because she didnt want to listen to what I had to say..
I would really like to quit my job.

I keep thinking about what I want to do with my life.
&how I want to be ready to start a life.
&how I want to be ready to start a life with him.
ithink.

I want to get out of here. I want to leave this place. I feel so ready.
Too bad im stuck.

get me the fuck out of here.please?

ihatewhen

my thoughts begin to wander.
my heart begins to doubt.

I never know the truth.
&it eats at me.
especially nights like this.
where I fall asleep &3hrs later he’s still awake…

i wish i could just trust.:/
I think i would be able to sleep better…

I hate feeling

like I’m his only one.

I have no real reason to feel that way.
But things from the past really fuck that up.

I wish I trusted easily.
But things from the past really fuck that up.

&then sometimes he just seems too good to be true.

I worry too much. I wish I could just relax.

I’m telling you..

I’m so scared.

that this isn’t real.:/